i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
