one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
