I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
