Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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