at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
