i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
