so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
