I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
