Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
