How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
