in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
