All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
