you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
