I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
