Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
