Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
