this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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