she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
