Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
