So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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