apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
