Capitaan dildo arrescate!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
