but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
