Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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