They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
