He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
