i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
