so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
