hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
