Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
