pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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