i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
