So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
