If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
