i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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