I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
