Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
