it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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