he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
