Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
