do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
