he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
