When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
