Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
