My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
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