I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
pray to the hookup gods
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
