2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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