obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
