Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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