I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
