Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
well I can't set my house on fire every night
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
